Kalyani passed away on the 10th. She was almost 11.

She had stopped eating (and drinking) three days prior, even refusing treats that Achchan had to usually feed her first thing in the morning. (She would keep writing infinity-signs around and between his legs until.) We took her to Aruma twice to get her blood tested and insulin injected and saline IV-ed. Reshma found her passed out on 9th night and we got her admitted to the pet hospital. Her glucose levels had dropped dangerously.

Kalyani was magic and grace. She gently (and sometimes peppered with a stern, loving whack) nudged me to being a better person. She loved winters, looking at the rain, and rolling around in the grass. She judged mercilessly and loved unconditionally.

The gif is from my backyard in Gurgaon, 2012. She loved the place and was too small to jump the tall walls. That did not stop her from trying once in a while, though.

I tested COVID positive on Tuesday (last week). Post the trans-Kerala train-trip (both ways), I was feeling slightly headache-ey, weak and generally uneasy for three-four days when we decided to go see a doctor. I was afraid the symptoms were COVID-related but convinced myself otherwise since we were supercareful with masks and sanitisers throughout the trip and hospital-stay (R’s papa had a stroke and we were looking after him). The hospital had COVID patients. We were far from the block where they were, away on the fifth floor of a separate building with ample ventilation and few people (mostly babies) across the  floors.

Everyone except R had symptoms since then and are quarantining in separate rooms. Achchan and Ananthu tested positive so we haven’t bothered with testing Amma. R tested Negative, twice. We have video-meets at night and see that everyone is alright.

I have been cycling through (thankfully mild) symptoms all week, starting with a sore throat, blocked nostrils, head-heaviness, loss-of-balance and now a heaviness-to-the-chest. I haven’t lost my sense of taste; sweet stuff is sweet and salty stuff salty. Can’t smell a thing though; been burying my nose in the detergent-dabba after the sanitiser-bottle-test burnt its insides (of my nose, not the dabba).

For the first few days there were also the odd and persistent nightmares. The episodes would wake me up past twelve with a cold sweat, leaving some random scary detail lodged front-and-centre in my head for ten-fifteen minutes. These shorts are cinematic and detailed, with the details staying well past their regular welcome. To add more definition to the already high-d visuals, the neighbour has decided the best way to install high-intensity LED floodlights is to face them towards our house. There now is a whole (otherwise not scary) shadow-puppetry-bit on the bedroom walls as I stay awake trying to forget why the building is shaking, scenes involving chains apparently lifted from GhostRider, etcetera. The contrast there in the shadows is amazing and I catch myself admiring the shapes before remembering to go the eff back to sleep.

I am glad our symptoms are mild and manageable and that one of us is free to take care of the rest. R loves to be and excels in her caretaker-role, breaking character only to tell me how much she misses me. She’s been cooking and delivering food to everyone while managing papa’s hospital-related stuff over the phone. K is stuck in the balcony-room complaining all the time (R takes her for short walks but she misses running the house, perhaps).

I have been on Amoxycillin, Domperidon, Mondeslor and VitaminC-Zinc tablets and lots of vapour-inhalation. The vaporiser is a temperamental beast and will need to be opened up soon. I don’t know why we can’t get something as simple as sort-circuiting-with-water work reliably. The ‘Oximeter’ keeps things steady at 97–99 but nosedives to early eighties enough times to keep one wondering if all of this really is Maya-esque after all. I’ve also been reading through R’s reading list (thanks to getting stuck with her bookshelf) and looking for decent Malayalam movies. The classes are all post-postponed and I will have to effectively restart some of them given this gap.

All is well. Relatively.